Why I’m mad at the Girl Scouts!
It’s the cookies, of course!
Specifically, the one we all want: Thin Mints. Which I first saw this year in the airport.
TSA ruins my trip
On my way back from an intense visit to parts back east, I was infuriated and harassed once again by the hateful TSA – that’s right, the portion of the government that gets 8 billion of our dollars EACH YEAR – and Obama just proposed giving them 3 million more!! — each year!! To touch and strip us before we pay hundreds of dollars to fly somewhere, because we can’t walk there.
I will write more about this elsewhere, but one small part of the airport experience gave me joy – seeing 2 or 3 Girl Scouts at a table, with a banner, selling their famous accessory, The Cookies. I made a note to myself to come back and buy some, but in the stress of the moment, as I was taking pictures of the TSA goons as they harassed me, I forgot. That made me very sad on the trip home here, because, as you know, there is no food on airlines any more now, just canned air and loss of individual liberty.
Thin Mints, honestly
Imagine my delight, then, when the very next day, I found out my neighbor was moving (well, that part was sad, as he was very quiet, and you never know who will move in next) and gave away a couple bags of food. Included in there was an unopened box of Girl Scout Thin Mints! Yay!
Only, no, not yay.
First of all, they aren’t thin. This is a big deal, because if they lie about that part of the name, what about the rest!? Being thin has been a status symbol for decades, and in food it implies a delicacy. They are just ordinary. And the chocolate is not interesting or tasty – it actually tastes kind of chalky – and the mint is bland. These are not special cookies, so why are they hanging with Girl Scouts?!
They are still packaged in the attractive green and brown box. They are made by Little Brownie Bakers. Shame on you, Little Brownie Bakers.
A week later I spotted a new cookie in Von’s, made by their house brand, Safeway Select, called Mint Chocolate Cookie Thins. I don’t think this timing is a coincidence, with the Girl Scout cookie the same month!
These cookies are scalloped on the edges. They are vanilla (point deducted) and very very thin, with a tart mint chocolate icing on one side. They are good. They are better than Thin Mints.
I don’t know if I’ll buy the Von’s brand again, but for sure I won’t buy Girl Scout Thin Mints.
Girl Scouts still get brownie points
In full disclosure, I was a Girl Scout at one point, and I really liked earning badges! I still have the sash and badges. Insect badge! A pot on a campfire badge! A flying carpet badge! Plus, memories of camping trips where I was so cold I took another girl’s blanket in my sleep, and another time when we woke up to see an ice world (beautiful.)
So, Girl Scouts 1, Thin Mints 0.
This is kind of funny: some other cookie reviewers are calling for Jeff Bezos’s head because the seller on Amazon has jacked up the price for Girl Scout Cookies on Amazon!
FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!
I couldn’t find any other reviews of Thin Mints. I guess some people consider it an icon.
Just FYI, my cartoon this weekend for Psychology Today includes the “c word” (chocolate) in the title, but isn’t really about chocolate: Real Men Don’t Eat Your Chocolate.
Also, keep an eye out for William Wray, painter of Pie above. You can also find him on Facebook, where I first saw his work.
